Stress Eating: "Not Enoughness"

Do you feel like you don’t have enough?
Enough time . . . money . . . love?
Or that you "aren’t" enough . . . not good enough . . . not worthy enough?

This is scarcity thinking, and it can show up in a LOT of really subtle, sneaky places.

Where does "not enough" show up in your life? I’ll tell you where it shows up in mine.

On the airplane, I worry about not having “enough space” to store my bags . . . 

I worry about not having “enough time” to accomplish what I want . . . both on a daily basis . . . and being on this earth long enough to make a difference in the world.

I worry about not being a “good enough” parent . . . 

Not spending “enough time” with my child . . . 

Not having “enough money” to send her to college . . .

And not having “enough time” to spend with my extended family . . . 

I worry about not having “enough energy” to meet my goals.

I obsess over a talk I have to give until it feels "good enough."

It can be very subtle, but all this “not enoughness” has an impact – it causes stress and contributes to “filling the void” with food . . . because we can always have enough food.

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The Answer
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The “answer” is to flip it. Focus on what you DO have, not what you DON’T have. Practice gratitude exercises, to foster feelings of gratitude, love and contentment.

Read my article on how Gratitude enhances your health and wellbeing 

Practice Receiving

For many of us, it’s easier to give than to receive. Giving is wonderful, but if it’s wearing you out . . . then you need more of a balance.

Practice LETTING others give to you. If you are able to “take in” what others are offering to you, then you feel more fulfilled and content . . . less need to overindulge.

Connect

Have you ever gone out with friends and had a wonderful time connecting and just being together? It’s very fulfilling, and you don’t feel the need to fill up with food. Fostering a sense of community helps you feel less isolated in the world. When you do things that fulfill you, you don't need to "fill up" with food.

Notice

Practice noticing when this subtle "not enough" feeling emerges for you (we all have it). When you feel it, you know that a Gremlin (self-saboteur) is at work. It may be just the signal you need to "do" less, or to know that something in your life needs to change. Comment in the box below to report what you notice -- I'd love to hear about it!

Comments

[Shirley]

Hi, I have been an emotional eater for many years now and my weight has been up and down for years too. I know that eating junk food is doing me no good but it seems to soothe a pain thats inside me, a feeling of discomfort, and I have never been able to get over this. Well, maybe for a short while and then I am back to square one. I agree entirely with your comments above re Not enoughness. It makes perfect sense to me. I admit that I have a lot of "Not enoughness" in my life, I will try and flip it and see what I have got instead of what I havent. I will go and re your article on gratitude in a minute. Thank you. Shirley in the UK

[Marcia - Massage Therapist]

When I got into massage therapy I thought "This is it! This is my ticket out of being fat!" I did lose some weight while in school but I was working a job, finishing a remodel on my house and going to school all at the same time. I didn't have "enough" time to eat! I realized in reading your article that most of my "not enoughs" are time, money and attention. I would be happiest if I could do massages all day long because that would fill at least the money and attention slots! Unfortunately that hasn't happened just yet, it will some day. I'm thinking maybe if I donate more of my time doing massage that will fill some of the void. Thanks a ton!
Marcia