Binge Eater Stops After 16 Years - "The Weight Came Off While I Wasn't Trying"

Dear Carole,
 
It's taken me a good few weeks to write this email, to even pluck up the courage to begin writing it actually!
 
I've been receiving your email shots for months now, many months, and they all ring true and they all make perfect sense. I even bought your e-book (amazing by the way) but I've not seemed to be able to put any of it into action. However…
 
I saw your link for the binge eating conference call, and I bought it. The next Saturday I listened to it. I swear, I am now "cured"!

 
Just let me explain, it takes a lot for me to say that because I have been binge eating for 16 years!!!!! I cannot pin point why, I've pretty much has a picture perfect life. I've had therapy for this, I've been hypnotised, I've tried every single diet there is to date (except now I fully understand why they don't work and I feel so FREE!)
 
Anyway, I'm not sure what happened, I listened to your call with the ladies pitching in, and I did the breathing exercise at the end (also amazing, I use this all of the time now, even just to get me to sleep)
 
I then made notes of what I wanted to take away from the call and remember, and this is what I wrote -

Keep above the line

I can eat what I want whenever I want it

Its now been 4 weeks since I listened to that call. Not only have I not binged once (seriously) but I have lost a stone.  It was honestly and sincerely my sole intention to stop binge eating, I decided to stop trying to lose weight and just to try and get back to some sort of "normal" relationship with food. The weight came off while I wasn’t trying.
 
I don’t know how to say thank you enough, you've 100% changed my life. Yes, I know that certain aspects of this has come from me and that I was obviously in the right frame of mind to make a change, but it just all feels so subconscious to me.
 
This is the first time in years I haven't thought about food all day long, every waking hour, and what and when im going to eat next. It’s the first time I've not had a battle raging in my head about not eating the "wrong" foods. I feel absolutely amazing and it's because of you!
 
I just eat when I'm hungry. I make sure I never get too hungry. I eat what I want when I feel like it. But it has to be what I REALLY want.  I now stop eating when I'm full. Today at lunch, I was eating with a bunch of very skinny girls that all had salads. What I really felt like was pizza. I didn't even have the mental argument - I just chose the pizza. However, normally I'd feel terrible, this time, I ate all I wanted , half. And put the rest aside. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
 
I no longer feel bloated all of the time because I don't stuff myself to make my full up feeling "last", I no longer beat myself up, I no longer choose what I think I "should" eat.
 
I am recently single, and I'm not happy about it. Its not what I wanted and I still love my boyfriend very much. I know he still loves me, but we can't be together. The truth is I sabotaged this relationship because of my insecurities. I could never have even recognised this before now, but I expected everything to be perfect.  Because I've never thought that I am, or never thought that I was good enough, I put so much pressure on our relationship to be perfect that it collapsed. It takes two to mess something up (and he's far from perfect himself…) but that’s how it is.  But this, this feeling normal and giving myself permission to be happy and let go of all this anxiety surrounding food, has made me happier than I could have imagined. I feel very strong now, and that’s made me strong enough to handle what ever else is happening around me. I don’t have to react to it now by stuffing food down my mouth. I can just deal with it the best I can.
 
Back to why it takes me a lot for me to say I feel cured…..I feel like I'm an alcoholic and I need to take everyday at a time. I have seen therapists and spoken to people who say food addiction doesn’t exist, but that's really what It felt like to me. I'm worried about saying I'm cured incase I "slip" back and have a binge one day. And then where will I be?
 
I'll tell you why I don't think this will happen…I was babysitting my nephews recently….they had milky bars in their cupboard and I really really wanted one. Now, the old me wouldn't have had any, I've spent the night in aguish, half cheering myself on for "not giving in" (basically depriving myself) and half looking forward to leaving the house so I could drive to the shop and stock up full of junk and chocolate etc. All for one milky bar!
 
I ate it. I ate one milky bar and then went and watched TV. Nothing. Do you know how GOOD that felt!!!! I didn’t want anymore, and I didn't NEED anymore.
 
I'm really sorry I've ranted on, I just had to say thank you for helping me so much, I really hope this continues and that I feel like this forever, I feel like you've given me the tools too make it work.
 
Kindest regards, thank you so so so much. You're a truly amazing woman.
 
Laura,
UK

Comments

[Shaz]

wow! I'm so so happy for you Laura. I am in the same boat where the relationship is concerned - i expected everything to be perfect and my insecurities got in the way and the relationship collapsed. My whole life revolved (still does actually) around the weight and how to loose it that i ended up being depressed half the time and unable to focus on anything else that would and could have probably brought the relationship joy. I wish i could get rid of this obsession with weight and good once and for all. It must feel amazing to have a lost 1 stone without even trying ! I'm still in a rut having recently gained back all the weight i lost over the past year. I've been wanting to purchase the e-book but i dont want another disapointment and failure. I do wish however that i could be free of this problem forever and focus my energies on things other then my weight! I'd love to keep in touch with you if possible to learn how you've done this. If you have the time do write me at shahnaz_1@hotmail.com
Well done on your success in beating this problem. You have conquered a monster that only those who have been through can truly appreciate how great the achievement is.